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News Monster: Vader Robs a Bank, Cougars Die Young, Faked Kidnappings

Darth Vader held up a bank, older women who date younger men die sooner, Marc wasn't looking at the kids, someone has crafted the world's most potent beer and more. Plus: Britt Bickel visits the Barn for its last week, Avril Lavigne rules and more.

Listen to this episode

Reader Comments (26)

Dirty pool... how dare you make us wait for ol' TP, you know how hard my boner was, shit is like dead now...

Awesome ep, Brit shined and it was perhaps her strongest appearance on the show, very funny stuff and I loved how much humor you guys were getting out of the old John news monster clips.

August 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGiovanni G.

Great show. Looking forward to the rest of Barnpocalpyse week.

August 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJay Allbritton

I hope like hell you will not be using one piece of Acenet gear except maybe a computer and the couch. Sorry, but I like my podcasts to have decent sound quality.

Congratulations though, I still wish that the new studio was in the master bedroom of the new place.

August 2, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterlaxdude

First off, RIP The Barn. *moment of silence, interruptions of mice and spider scampering sounds*

Congrats on the news of joining the Ace Network!!!
Please, don't use their equipment, you guys know what you're doing better than they do! Seriously.
Maybe you can eventually just send their equipment on the submarine, on the voyage of its own.

Love the podcast! Great job.

August 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer C.

Screw the submarine, you need a dirigible. Then Low Budget FM can reign, and even rain, over all.

Low Budget Radio über alles!

August 2, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterlaxdude

Vatos Locos FOREVER!... oops wrong comment section

You know I'm going to take credit for at least planting the seed of the ACE broadcasting deal, Cioffi and chambers may have spent the last 6 1/2 months carrying it and trying to make sure it went through without a hitch only to have to deliver it on their own premature from Cioffi's vagina in some back alley... I shot the initial load though that started the ball rolling... the snowball if you will...gross

August 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGiovanni G.

Congrats on joining the ACE network guys. I don't know anything about the business world of podcasting, but that sounds like a nice umbrella to be under. Assuming that it is a good vertical move congrats. You run a great show and hopefully it'll find more ears now.

Great episode. Really nice to hear Brit on the podcast again.

August 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTravis

You could actually hear her?

August 2, 2010 | Unregistered Commentercioffi

Well, I did have to do a lot of rewinding, temporarily boosting the volume, doing some track scrubbing, running it through a filter to shed some street noise that was unfortunately in a troublesome frequency range, etc. After about 4 hours of work though I was able to piece together her speaking parts and fuse the newly enhanced (and thus at a somewhat reasonable volume) into the podcast. Thank God for my semester at MI in the recording program.

August 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTravis

Some thoughts:

High alcohol beer is an impressive feat because it is not distilled. To increase the alcohol content beyond about 7%, you need to breed yeast with the ability to not die when the ABV gets above that. Cioffi's comparison to gin is therefore inapt. Gin is fermented to about 7% ABV, whereupon the yeast die, then it is distilled to remove water and other impurities to increase ABV to above 50%.

Brit = dead to me for bashing PA. She will be declared un-dead upon clarification that her insults apply only to western PA.

Congrats on ACE. It is about time you guys got to advertise for Adam and Eve . com. Oh, wait.

August 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCraig in PA

Yay! I was ecstatic to hear Brit back again...and i could actually HEAR her! Originally i was floored to hear about the Low Budget - ACE network marriage...but now i find myself worrying about an excess of commercials ( i fast forward the first 3 min. of every A.C Podcast) PLEASE just don't forget the name is LOW BUDGET not adequate to mediocre Budget. You can never go wrong with LOW BUDGET!

August 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHovA

Es ist Zeit für das Radio des kleinen Budget zu siegen! Wir werden bis zu unseren rechtmäßigen Platz der Prominenz aufsteigen! Nie mehr werden wir dienstbar zu unseren ausländischen Unterdrücker. Wir werden unsere Fesseln abzuwerfen! Wir müssen uns vorwärts bewegen, nicht rückwärts, nach oben nicht nach vorne, und immer drehte und drehte und drehte in Richtung Freiheit!

Wir werden wahrscheinlich auch einzufallen Polen!

Low Budget-Radio über alles!

August 2, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterlaxdude

PS, go with google translate. It does a much better job.

August 2, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterlaxdude

The show must now be renamed "The Radio of the Small Budget."

August 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCraig in PA

I prefer the original working title, "THIS PODCAST HAS NO MONEY." Also frequently exclaimed whenever someone asks for a snack, soda, new pair of headphones etc.

August 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMarc

Congratulations on becoming ACE Network undertalent.
Don't fuck up the sound.

Is Seena ever coming back?

August 2, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterharlingtoxad

Craig -- I heart PA! but there has to be more to do there than staging a false kidnapping in a K-Mart parking lot. Whatever happened to playing some good ole cornhole out in the fields?!

Glad to know I could be heard on this episode even though I barely had a voice, strange how that works...

August 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBritt

Yeah, Seena is coming back. Her schedule is pretty full so she can't make it in every week.

August 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMarc

This may be BB's best episode yet... she spoke forcefully, was relaxed and wasn't defensive. What did you do? Give her a bullhorn, load her up with Lexapro and strap her into a nitrous oxide tent? I, for one, welcome THIS BB back in my earholes anyti... errrr... semi-regularly.

Congrats on the move to ACE! If you ever begin to falter due to your distain for the valley, send up a signal. I'll speed over with cold beer and salty snacks to help make the commute worthwhile. (I'm not kidding.)

August 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMonkeypants

PS: Hey, are you taking applications the position of world's oldest intern with almost no relevant skills?

August 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMonkeypants

congratulations

don't fuck this up though

August 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBigJohnnyH

Great job guys!
All the hard work is finally paying off.....

Now it's time for you to forget about the little people and become massive A-Holes.

I would maybe like you guys to start acting like the Gallagher Bros. (from Oasis....not the watermellon smashing comedians.)

August 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAndy

I think you guys should go right after Werther's Originals as a sponsor. Bring awesomely delicious hard candy to a new generation of people just starting to fill candy dishes.

August 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTravis

I've already got a oversized mallet.

August 3, 2010 | Unregistered Commentercioffi

Congrats on signing ACE to the Low Budget label! Surely this move was not foreseen by anybody not named TodBot.
BB was slightly discernible over Korean children playing a raucous game of Hye-Mi Cho in the backyard.
Good content overall.

August 3, 2010 | Unregistered Commentercolin

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