John Salwin

Salwin is the third chair on Low Budget FM. He also does the vast majority of all production work for the show.

(John's official bio is below. It was not in English; approximate English translation courtesy of Google Translate.)

John Salwin massive funny talent. Him reside mansion rock solid fortress bulletproof limousine. Punctual elegance and very strong. Punch airplane from sky. Rip building from ground and throw as dart.

Sometime get angry. So angry. Hurt people but aggressively. But not usually.

Descend mountain on skis never.

Own many billions of vehicle. Preferred vehicle of saddle-borne woolen mammal. Can whisper cheetah to death if desired, but not desired.